This Is a Character for a Story Am I Working On. What Corrections and Revisions Should I Make?

Question by The Question: This is a character for a story am I working on. What corrections and revisions should I make?
Vince Campbell
Full Name: Vincent James Campbell

Overview
Vince Campbell has lived a volatile life since he was born. His father Edward Campbell was a mathematician and Lois Campbell was a romantic writer. Even though life seemed perfect on the outside his life was really less than perfect. His father was a drunk who physically abused him and his mother. His mother was very timid and would be unable to help her son when he was by her husband. She also was drug addict. His father would pushed him mentally and gave him work that would be considered rigorous for a boy his age. By the time he was seven he had extensive knowledge on several different subjects such as Mathematics, Economics, Social Studies, Four different foreign languages, and Modern writing. When Vince was nine his father died from a heart attack. Things started to look up for Vince but four years later, his mother committed suicide. Vince soon moved with his Aunt and Uncle. Despite the fact that his Aunt and Uncle were generous and loving, his life with his parents deeply affected him. Vince developed nihilistic point of view and became very misanthropic. He also acquired several character traits form is father, such as his arrogance and his selfishness. While in school he was picked on because of his aloofness, his uncle decided that he should take tae Kwan do. He soon became and excellent fighter and was able to fend of his bullies. When he was in high school, he excelled and was number one in his class and had the highest test scores in the schools history. Despite his success he felt it wasn’t real success because the school was considered the worst in the nation. During his time in high school, he met and fell in love with a girl named Tammy, his one and only friend. Because of their friendship his negative qualities diminished and he became more open. He also developed a sense of justice because of her. She soon moved, and it crushed Vince. When he graduated high school he decided to enter the University of Chicago to obtain a degree in pre-law. He soon got bored with life and wanted to find out what he wanted. He soon ran into a group of professional street fighters and joined their underground fight club and became a top fighter. His time in the fight club changed him he became less nihilistic and misanthropic but his arrogance and selfishness grew. He lived the good life because of his time in the fight club. He was arrested when there was a raid at the fight club. He soon met Richard Madsen while in prison who asked him to join because of his fighting skills and intelligence The Liberators.

Personality
Vince in very arrogant and self centered. He is also very intelligent and has very superb deductive skills. He is the usually the most calm one in the group besides Raza. He has a strive to be successful in any mission he does and never likes to lose. He is very snarky and quick tongued, and usually messes with the criminals the liberators face. He can tell who a person just by looking at them and messes with them psychological. He has a strong sense of justice and believes he should always protect the weak and down trodden and his life long goal is to save Chicago from the abyss. He is a hedonist and he loves cigarettes , alcohol, and women. Vince is against drug abuse of any kind because his mother was a drug addict. He also hides a deep hatred for his father despite the fact that he has been dead for years. Vince is an excellent fighter and is master in several different martial arts styles such as Tae Kwan Do, Karate, Kung Fo, Tai Bo and Jiujitsu. He is also a proficient in street fighting. He is best friends with Alex because they are both cold, sarcastic, and led hard lives. He sees Alex as kindered spirit and one of his few true friends.
Famous in their circles.
Flaws: Arrogant, Boastful, somewhat selfish and he is hedonist. He doesn’t believe in long term relationships, never been in love with anyone since Tammy.

Best answer:

Answer by LskarKyo
i think this seems like a good story. the main character is interesting and has a “good” background for a story. but i do believe that he’s too perfect; he’s “quick tongued”, he fights crime, he defends the weak, he’s smart, he’s calm and cool it seems. my opinion is that he needs a few more flaws. and i think that it’s ironic that he is against drug use when he himself smokes, i know that cigarettes aren’t as bad as illegal drugs but they are drugs nonetheless. and if you’re planing to use the overview in your acctual story you should write “and his mother, Lois campbell was a romantic writer”, and there is no actual need to write “4 foreign languages.” you can just write four languages.

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