Here Is My Story.?
Question by hoffnerhooper: Here is my story.?
My name is Leigha and I am the mother of 5 beautiful children. Alexandra age 12, Jessica age 10, Michelle age 9, Amir age 5, Jayla age 4.
The children that I am fighting for is Jessica and Michelle.
When I was 15 years old I meet their father who at the time was 35 years old. I was uneducated and mislead. Their father has not been around for 2 years and is currently using drugs and drinking, he is living on the streets with no communication to the girls. I hope and pray one day that he will change his life. However, right now my girls are my world.(they all are really).
Because of the life style of domestic violence that i was in with their father, I got involved in the drug and alcohol world. I will be the first to admit that I made the biggest mistake of my life by doing that, however I did it because I had no family, no support system and no real idea of what being an adult ws really about.
When my children where 5 and 6 years old I had only been using drugs for about 1 year. I decided that i could no longer deal with living the way that I was living, so I checked myself into a well known treatment center in Chicago, where we live.
I found out when I got in there that i was pregnant again. I decided that this was the right choice and I stayed.
While in treatment I was doing good for a while. This is where my honesty is hard to tell the world, but here goes. I after having been there a while had my baby, who was born drug free and came back to the facility with me. I was having a difficult time because I was having to deal with getting help, taking my children to school every morning, picking them up every evening and a newborn baby all while in a residental treatment facility with no help from staff. I was overwhelmed because I had a newborn and of course no sleep.
One day one of my daughters threw a full bottle of formula at my newborns head while in one of her fits for attention.
I told her to stop and took the bottle, she did not stop and grabbed a toy truck of hers and threw it at her hitting her again, so out of fear and out of not knowing whatelse to do I spanked her. I spanked her with 2 swatts on her behind. What I did not know was that a staff memeber was standing outside my door listening to the entire thing, she came in right away and told me that if I spank her again she is calling DCFS on me. I told her what was going on and that I am not going to allow my other child or an adult hurt a 2 day old baby. She warned me again and left.
Well of course my children heard this and she began to act up again, so I tried to put her in time out(which never worked for her), I took away her toys (which made her more mad), I sat down with her and tried to talk to her and that did not work, I decided that to save her and save my sanity I would just ignore her.
Well she calmed down long enough to come up to me and give me a hug and while i had my back turned to my baby she pulled the car seat off the bed with the baby in it making the baby land on the floor.
When I realized what happened I spanked her again. The staff came back in and said she is calling the state on me.
When they showed up they told me that it would probably better for me and all my kids if i would allow my children to go with their grandmother for a while so that i can finish treatment and get use to a new baby. The staff thought it was a good idea as well. So i agreed.
What I didnt know was that when my children left I would have this incredible feeling of emptiness and void, since they had never been away from me before this.
Two days after they left I was allowed to go out on a pass to go to a doctors appointment, I took my new baby over to her grandmothers house and left her with her grandma. I then went out to the appointment and then went shopping. Then I made the stupid mistake of using drugs. I ran into someone I knew and that was all it took.
I was gone only a total of two and a half hours and I was given 4 hours to be gone by the facility.
then returned to get my baby, when i got there her grandmother drove me and the baby back to the facility. I was never left alone with the baby after I used.
The facility found out that i had relapsed, they then called the worker from the state back and told her, she came that night to get my baby.
The worker took the baby back to her grandmothers.
I was told to stay in treatment and to do what i needed to do to get them back.
I was so hurt and empty and sad, that i left when she left and used again.
I didn’t do what they asked me to do when they told me to, but i did do it.
They asked me to go to treatment, and I did, to go to outpatient treatment, and i did, to go to meetings, and i do, to get a sponsor, and i have one, to keep my visits with the children, and i do, to go to parenting classes and i did, to go to domestic violence classes, and i did, to submit to random drug tests that need to be clean and i do, to get a steady place to live, and I do, to get a job or go back to school, and i went back to school and got my degree in accounting and have opened my own accounting office, to not spank/hit children and i dont anymore, to show that i can provide for my children in a emotionally, mentally, physically healthy way and i have by getting them into therapy, teaching them how to respond to live in healthy ways, journaling, ect. and i provided the worker with proof that i make enough money to support them and some.
The only thing that has changed right now is that i am pregnant again and it is a very difficult pregnancy so i haven’t been able to see them the normal 3 times a week but i see them at least 1 to 2 times a week until i have my new baby in about 1 week.
I speak to them on the telephone everyday without exception.
The grandmother is mad with me because her son and i are no longer together and i have gotten married to the father of my other children.
She has told my children that they are not allowed to call me anymore and that they have to wait for me to call them.
She is an older woman who is very set in her ways, she believes that no matter what a parent is like-drug problems, mental health issues, violent,ect that if a child is brought up with the fear of God in them they will not end up that way, and if they do they are being punished. She is baptist and i am muslim. Which i dont have a problem with. She thinks that if she keeps the kids in church 4 times a week that, that will be enough to keep my children from getting into any trouble. However that is not the case, my children have been lashing out more and more because she is so restrictive of them. She has not allowed them to have friends in or out of school, they have no outside activities, and go nowhere except to school and church. They have recently moved into the home of the mother of the grandmother so now they can’t play in the house or watch t.v.. she does not allow them to go outside and play because she is to busy with her mother to watch them, they are being forced to act like grown woman when they aren’t.
My children have expressed on a daily basis since they got taken away that they want to come home.
I have done everything they have asked me and i don’t know whatelse to do.
The caseworker doesn’t want to return them home because she won’t get paid anymore for them, the same thing with their grandmother she will lose the 3,000 a month she recieves.
And then there is the GAL who is being investigated for misconduct in this case and others who is a racist woman who doesn’t like mixed children. She has told me that she is going to make an example of me and my family.
I have spoken to my lawyer and we are fighting it, but we can only do so much. We are all hoping that this will help the judge realize the seriousness of this situation and that the caseworkers and GAL’s can not continue to intimidate, harrass and bully parents.
My children are beaustiful young girls who are on the honor roll, bright and intelligent.
They are the most beaustiful girls in the world and they deserve to have their mom back in their life.
I truly think and believe that because i have gotten my life together and done everything they have asked that i no longer be judged by my past.
I am no longer the person i use to be, i have grown up and know what it is to be an adult and a mother and most of all i know that this is real life and that i will never be perfect but that i have gained the knowledge needed to properly care for my girls.
I am having another baby on June 3, 2006 and they are not going to take this baby so why won’t they give me my children back.
I am scared that my children are being used by the system and their grandmother for their meal tickets.
Please help me get my girls back where they belong.
please if your willing to read it more please go to http://leigha-hooper.tripod.com/helpsavemychildren/
http://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeaction/802771312
i do have a lawyer and he has all the proof we are going to court tomorrow to present it. thank all of you for the encouraging words and support.
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