Why Can’t I Be Happy Without Drugs and Alcohol?

Question by MuncH: why can’t I be happy without drugs and alcohol?
I have been in AA, NA and have lived that life for a couple years. Wasn’t life to me and I wasn’t happy. One of the sayings is “Don’t forget where you came from” After I lost my ex-fiance and our baby I was borderline suicidal on a daily basis. I usually drink till I feel good, take pills and I was smoking dope trying to OD, and my mind wanted to do something and wandering in traffic wasn’t it

I have tried to let go and not live in the past but I cannot get over that my life today is because of the past. Sober or not I really dont want to live. But it isn’t so bad when I’m drunk or high. I have 2 children and I cant see them. I didnt really have a father growing up and it hurt me bad. It’s just devastating to feel like this. Wishing to die before you open your eyes. I know people in my family who are dependent on all sorts of head pills. Ive seen them go through worse times when they dont have their meds! I dont want to be dependent on medication. I for sure dont want to be a damn science experiment testing out head pills for years to find out what i need. I haven’t been happy for a while now.

I live in Minnesota and would be willing so see an expert possibly.

Best answer:

Answer by Speedy
its mostly because of your past

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