What Do You Do With a 15 Yr Old That Thinks He Knows It All Who Thinks Getting in Trouble Is Cool?
Question by sueh2831: What do you do with a 15 yr old that thinks he knows it all who thinks getting in trouble is cool?
He got in trouble living with his father in Arkansas, proceeded to be a theif, thinks he should be able to do what he wants and not what he is told. He has gone through drug rehab for smoking pot with my ex-husband. Now he is on 1 yr probation, with 50 hrs community service and has to see a psycologist with me present also. The 2nd week of school he skipped 3 days in 1 week. What do you do with a child like this?????? I am clueless…….
Best answer:
Answer by Alissa
boot camp
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17 Responses to What Do You Do With a 15 Yr Old That Thinks He Knows It All Who Thinks Getting in Trouble Is Cool?
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You help him love him AND NEVER GIVE UP ON HIM thats what a mother does got it?
As my mother always did with me and my brothers, show him where you can end up. As scary as it is, most prisons or correctional facilities allow you to show young kids that being bad doesn’t always work out for the best and let’s inmates talk to kids about finding the right path.
take him to a jail, let him see where he is going.
then do as Alissa said, thats what i was gonna say too.
If this was my child he/she would be in boot camp or Juve so fast it owuld make their head spin. My daughter tried this garbage when she turned 15, with the I can do whatever she wants attitude. I gave her an otnro lesson the the wonderful world of Hapkido(no I didn’t hit her) and took a week off work to spend day and night doing manual labor. Guess who says excuse me and leaves me a sticky note, a voice mail and calls grandma when she sets a toe outside the house now? You guessed it! Little miss former free spirit.
When he gets himself arrested again, leave him there.
You need to be firm and never EVER deviate from your rules…EVER. NEVER give in. When he comes home from school, you sit him down at the dinner table to do his homework in front of you. Then he’s to clean his room if necessary, then he’s to eat dinner, shower and go to bed. No more hanging out with friends who are a bad influence. Love him, hug him…guide him. Yelling won’t get you anywhere with this type of child. If he skips school, make sure the school or you call the cops to have him picked up immediately and brought home. If he continues to skip school, he is to be punished…no friends, no TV, no phone, nothing. Just studying and reading to catch up what he’s missed. Keep in constant contact with the teachers to know how he’s behaving when he’s there…work with them.
If all else fails…it’s military school for that boy.
If talking to him about the consequences of his actions hasn’t worked, I suggest something more visual. Take him on a tour of a prison and show him what his future is if he doesn’t shape up. I’m sure some arrangements can be made with a local jail or something like that, look in the yellow pages and give them a call. It can’t hurt. In addition to that, enforce strict curfews and rules at home. Discipline and behavior has to start at home. Good luck, sounds like you have your work cut out for you.
He is 15 and you probley wont be able to stop him. Honestly, I think i act the same way but coming out a parent it sounds so much worse. Actually, your son sounds exactly like me. I went to bootcamp already and it just made me more rebellious. Work with him and try to be a family with him. email me and i can explain more. [email protected]
You take away everything that means anything to him. Car, t.v., games, phone, etc. He is not allowed out of the house until he has proven to you that he is ready to be a good kid and quit worrying you to death. Boot camp — tough love. Don’t bail his butt out of jail again. Let him still there awhile maybe he’ll figure out that it’s not so kool.
Whenever someone acts out there is always an underlying reason for it. The behavior is always a symptom of something else going on. Your son has been in trouble and each time he gets in trouble he gets to be the center of attention. Is that the only way he can get the attention of his parents? Something to think about.
Personally, I would try to find out what’s going on underneath. If the psychologist is worth anything he should be able to help you do that. Ask the psychologist for direction in the best way to handle your son’s behavior between visits.
This might sound a little sour but the fact of the matter is that the boy is in a broken home and thats what is affecting him.its very sad to know that his father smokes pot with him and he’s the one who needs to be punished for having his son involved in such activities…
Psycologist and community services are good and thats the best you can hope and pray for.good luck!!
he is rebelling against authority…namely you…and he wants to see how far he can go with you….his dad did not set a very good example for him and now you have to try to get him back in line…we love our children unconditionally and sometimes that includes tough love…speak to someone in your local Big Brothers /Big sisters organization and see if they have any recommendations for you…court systems sometimes offer to let them go to a scared straight program…counselors should be available to you through the juvenile justice system…the main thing is don’t give up …your efforts to help him will be noticed one day by the only person who really matters here…..HIMSELF……good luck to you
I have a 14 year old that’s just like that or should I say was. I went to the jail and talked to juvenile intake and told them the problem. I ask them about programs like scared straight but told them they to do more then just me bring him so they sent a police car to the school and when he came to the office they arrested him and took him to jail they finger printed him and then put him in a cell with hard core criminals for 24 hours and when they were finished with him I have had no more problems he is an Honor roll student now. I told him I did that because am a single mother of 5 and i refuse to lose him to the streets.
let him learn on his own let him make his own mistakes then he’ll finally get the picture…
Many of us are clueless…but you must hang in there…
Consequences have been dealt out to him (drug rehab, comm. service) and he still acts out??
What kind of community service is he doing? See if he can clean up piss and vomit at a community drunk tank…or something where he can see the long-term affects of these choices he continues to make.
But ask yourself…what does this kid have to live for? what are his talents…what was he passionate about prior to turning 15?
Make sure he has recreational activities that are drug-free and preferably with a crowd that is drug free…
I remember being this age…it can be just a phase as well…it sounds like your doing your best. Its not easy being a kid either….
Make sure the words “I love you” come out of your mouth often as well…
Dont argue about seeing a pycio. he needs it. He is upset that you are divorced and he is mad because his father didnt control him and neither can you. keep going to counceling you will eventually get it out of him…Hes a punk and show him that punks dont belong in your house. Show him that you are there for him he must not think anyone cares
let him get into trouble….belive me 60 to 90 days in jail will really wake his dumb a*ss up…..it did me….i was where he is now and that’s the only thing that made a believer out of me….as much as it may hirt to do so you have to let him go to make his own mistakes….that’s what my parents had to do and eventually i came around, got my education, and now have a very good career and relationship with my parents. but, you can’t make him conform and be who you want him to be….he has to figure that one out on his own by making his own mistakes….i’ve been there and done that and it’s the only way…..love him to be sure, but don’t enable him and don’t support him….make him earn his own way and make his own mistakes